When I imagined my first visit to the U.K., I thought it would be like a dream. It was the place where my favorite authors lived, walked, imagined, and created their own worlds that I came to love. I arrived in London and it was full of wonder, full of rejoice; but then I faced reality. Even when I learned about sustainability from the Oxford–Stanford–Taejae program, that academic reality did not hurt so much. But this reality punched me so hard. I should start with the quote from my favorite book, Pride and Prejudice.
“The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief in the inconsistency of all human characters….” — Pride and Prejudice (p. 156)
The U.K. was the place where my favorite authors lived, walked, imagined, and created their own worlds that I came to love. I arrived in London and it was full of wonder, full of rejoice; but then I faced reality.
The reality of human characters hit me so hard. Perhaps many of us experience this at some point in life when our ideals about people meet reality. This trip was my first time visiting a Western country, and it opened my eyes to a wider world. But on the very same trip, I looked down into the deep inside world of humans. I know humans are not perfect, but you can only truly know the person inside through real experiences with them. The view that I had witnessed was so negative that I exclaimed to my family after I got back, “I lost my love for humanity!”
Now, two weeks after returning, I needed to reflect. The school requires me to do so, and I have to write something about my U.K. experience. Strangely, whenever I remember something related to England, the memory does not end there. It leads me instead to negative painful memories, which puts me in a bad mood. When I realized how strongly this was affecting me, I decided to actively reappraise my experience. I loved England. I just disliked my experience there, because it crushed the ideal image I once had of humans.
However, that was the reality. I had learned life’s lesson.
I am trying to view this experience in this light, with help from older mentors (인생 선배). Someone advised me to differentiate colleagues from friends, which was a point I have never thought about before. I would love to delve into this point more, and learn to do it as I continue learning about people and relationships.
I loved England. I just disliked my experience there, because it crushed the ideal image I once had of humans.
I now view my trip to the U.K. as a trial run. It was a practice before my real Global Rotation Program, which will be more challenging, longer, and intense. Now I know what to expect and what I could potentially see in people. Previously, I likely did not know about some immature aspects of humans because I did not interact with others in the common area of our residence, B1, as often as other students.
When we go to San Francisco, we will live with roommates and will spend a lot of time together as Taejae students. In those moments, we may learn sides of each other we have never seen before. I know that there may be moments when I feel frustrated with others and think some are irresponsible, selfish, or immature. However, this trip made me realize that there is a possibility that I might sometimes be that kind of person too! Because of that, I hope and pray that I can become someone who is responsible in my duties, helps others, and faces difficult situations with maturity.
My trip to the U.K. helped me realize what kind of person I want to continue becoming.
I hope that I can be a person who can help those in need when we are going through difficult moments in San Francisco, and also find a person whom I can truly confide in.
Fortunately, after this trip, I think I have already found some people I can lean on. Above all, my trip to the U.K. helped me realize who my special people are and what kind of person I want to continue becoming.
A Korean poet once said,
“It is prettier when you look at it closely.”
For me, it wasn’t.