“The relationship between two people or groups is the way in which they feel and behave towards each other.”

My grandparents often said one Russian proverb: "You can't build happiness on someone else's misfortune." However, as I grew older I saw that so many people were doing the exact opposite. Many sought success even at the expense of others, climbing higher by stepping on those below.

I grew up in a small town in Far East Russia where I learned that a person is defined by their profession, that their worth comes from the prestige of their position and their success. In such an environment, it often felt as if you were insignificant in the eyes of people above you. While this wasn’t true for everyone, I found that building long-lasting relationships in an atmosphere of quiet competition and unspoken hierarchies felt draining and difficult.

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In Russia, relationships are supposed to be deep and enduring, but I learned how fragile they can become when they’re shaped by pride and status.

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Living in Korea, I noticed a similar tension through small things like jondaenmal (존댓말 – the polite and formal way of speaking to people that are older than you). When I met someone new, the first thing they asked was my age, not my name.  I soon realized that this was how people understood status between each other. Once your age was known, your position in that invisible hierarchy was set, and the tone of the conversation changed.

I also encountered inmaek (인맥 – a network of social ties and relationships one develops in the course of life), which showed me the importance of relationships and how they are leveraged. I saw how inmaek could open doors and create opportunities, but also how it sometimes turned relationships into tools or ways to gain something rather than to connect sincerely.

I also encountered inmaek (인맥), which showed me the importance of relationships and how they are leveraged.

Now, I am in San Francisco, the city of tech, innovation and diversity. Through our Civic Engagement Program, my peers and I visited various sites throughout the city and engaged with diverse people. One word dominated almost every conversation no matter what the topic was: relationships.

Someone got a job through a friend. Someone met their future spouse at work. Someone built a start-up that grew into a multi-million-dollar company. The theme repeated itself, relationships were everywhere, but often tied to advancement or achievement. I saw how relationships could be warm but also artificial, similar to the ones I observed in Korea.

Networking with Cobaltix Team

Recently, we visited a tech company called Cobaltix and had a conversation with the founder, Steve Walker. Walker emphasized that the most successful businesses rely on strong relationships with investors, customers, and most importantly, the employees.